It's about midnight, the morning of the 4th of December. At 2:30 PM this afternoon, my flight leaves for Toronto Canada, then to Germany, and finally to Kazakhstan. After a year of waiting, I'll finally be on my way. I'll be honest; there were some moments where I was afraid this deal would fall through and I'd be left holding the short end of a very long stick. However, my doubt was misplaced and though it took over a year, I am finally moving towards my prize.
I have to also admit, that as much as I am looking forward to this trip, I am still quite nervous. I do have some experience in this sort of job--teaching English to Kazakhs...but I have never been in such a formal situation before. Not only that, this is my first real "out of home" experience in the wide world. I went to college and my parents were only three hours away--an afternoon drive. Even when I went to Kazakhstan before, I didn't feel like I was really on my own. It was more of a temporary sojourn from my normal collegiate experience. Now...I feel like I'm really being forced into an adult's shoes and it is not really something that I feel prepared for. Two years on my own, without my family to catch me if I fall... I've always been nervous about taking on more responsibility and have avoided it whenever I am able...but it appears that I am no longer able to hide from the real world.
Perhaps even more frightening is that, this too is only a temporary state of events. In two years it will be over and I'll go back to being an unemployed student. Not only that, I'll be over that hump--I'll be twenty-six, which is only four short years away from thirty...and that is not a reassuring thought. Many of my friends are either getting married, having children, or settling into a career path that will take them into their twilight years. Myself? I'm getting ready for a two year teaching gig which I sometimes have to wonder if I'm truly prepared for. I mean, I have a BA in History and International Studies, not English or Teaching.
I'm sitting here now in the Toronto Airport. My family's left to go see Les Miserables--I'm quite jealous. I think I'm going to try to find a meal and some courage.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Awa tae bide awa
Posted by Alexander "Iskander" Gerges at 10:32 PM
Labels: doubt, Kazakhstan, New World, Traveling
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Alex, we are very proud and can't wait to hear of your adventures. You should be proud of yourself too--what a brave move that most other people wouldn't dare do.ReplyDelete
Hey bud, it's your buddy Legitgamerlegend (Alex Maxwell) from IGF. I'll be following your journey on here as closely as I can. Everyone here is so proud of you, and the decision you made to leave everything you call home behind for this life altering experience. I know it was hard, but every larva must go through the struggle of the cocoon in order to break free and become a beautiful moth. It's going to be lonely at first, and things may seem like they couldn't get worse, but in the end you won't regret a single thing about this decision!
I wish you well on your travels, and I hope to read more and more about the cool people you meet, wonderful food you eat, and the amazing adventures you have ahead of you(:
*S* From all of us here in IGF. See you on Xfire in 2 years(:
Thanks Legit! Give my regards to the lads. Also, could you see if you can tap one of them to take over in the Music Hall, since I can't get reliable youtube.ReplyDelete