It's about midnight, the morning of the 4th of December. At 2:30 PM this afternoon, my flight leaves for Toronto Canada, then to Germany, and finally to Kazakhstan. After a year of waiting, I'll finally be on my way. I'll be honest; there were some moments where I was afraid this deal would fall through and I'd be left holding the short end of a very long stick. However, my doubt was misplaced and though it took over a year, I am finally moving towards my prize.
I have to also admit, that as much as I am looking forward to this trip, I am still quite nervous. I do have some experience in this sort of job--teaching English to Kazakhs...but I have never been in such a formal situation before. Not only that, this is my first real "out of home" experience in the wide world. I went to college and my parents were only three hours away--an afternoon drive. Even when I went to Kazakhstan before, I didn't feel like I was really on my own. It was more of a temporary sojourn from my normal collegiate experience. Now...I feel like I'm really being forced into an adult's shoes and it is not really something that I feel prepared for. Two years on my own, without my family to catch me if I fall... I've always been nervous about taking on more responsibility and have avoided it whenever I am able...but it appears that I am no longer able to hide from the real world.
Perhaps even more frightening is that, this too is only a temporary state of events. In two years it will be over and I'll go back to being an unemployed student. Not only that, I'll be over that hump--I'll be twenty-six, which is only four short years away from thirty...and that is not a reassuring thought. Many of my friends are either getting married, having children, or settling into a career path that will take them into their twilight years. Myself? I'm getting ready for a two year teaching gig which I sometimes have to wonder if I'm truly prepared for. I mean, I have a BA in History and International Studies, not English or Teaching.
I'm sitting here now in the Toronto Airport. My family's left to go see Les Miserables--I'm quite jealous. I think I'm going to try to find a meal and some courage.